


Double Entendre--The Porn Job

by crayonbreakygal



Category: Leverage
Genre: But Not Really Porn, Comedy, Double Entendre, F/M, Nate plays Eliot, Not really though, Porn, S&M, Slight Bondage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 17:12:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18286670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crayonbreakygal/pseuds/crayonbreakygal
Summary: Nate kept wondering why he took this job.  Takes place season four.





	Double Entendre--The Porn Job

**Author's Note:**

> Bit of silliness I wrote really quickly. I have so many things on the backburner that need to be finished. And I'm re-reading stuff from a long time ago from the Leverage fandom. So much stuff I missed the first time around. Enjoy!

Double Entendre--The Porn Job

Takes place season four

 

“Porn?” Parker asked, curious.

“Porn,” Hardison screeched.

“Nate, there’s no way…,” Sophie started.

“Ain’t no way we’re doin’ this job.”

Eliot just didn’t know all the facts.

“One, we are not performing anything.”

“Damn,” Parker added.

“Girl, don’t even,” Hardison managed to get out as he looked at her like she had just grown two heads.

“Well, I mean, it’d be different.”

“Parker,” both Sophie and Eliot said at the same time, sounding a bit like they had planned on chastising her at the same time.

“Ok, no, Parker.  That is not the job.”

“Then what is the job, Nate?” Sophie wanted to know.

“Yeah, Mr. I’m Repressed because ….”

“Hardison, do not finish that sentence.”

Nate had known that this job wasn’t the regular job they took.  But it needed to be done.  They could get in and out fairly quickly. Dammit, even he was thinking in double entendres. 

“Well, it’s true.  Nate, as good as our acting skills are,” Eliot stated, “there’s no way any of us are gonna strip.”

“Did I mention that?”

All the team members sat at the long desk before the large monitors, none of them looking at each other, except for Parker. The look on her face was weird. Nate didn’t know how else to describe it.

“Listen, Hardison. Run it. Our client, please.”

“Mr. Walton Per, I mean Walton Persuu… I have no idea how to pronounce this guy’s name.”

“Perrisseau,” Eliot finished for him. “I know a bit of French. Who doesn’t?”

They all looked at Hardison like he was deprived.

“So, all y’all know French but me. So, what.  None of you know how to operate most of the equipment around here. Hush. Let me finish.  He has a daughter who is 20. Apparently, she got herself involved in some hinky stuff without knowing that the outfit she got involved with does some nasty videos.”

“Boyfriend,” Eliot surmised.

“Boyfriend,” Sophie replied back.

“You done?” Hardison asked the two. “Because either one of you could take over if you want?  Not sure if you know how to press the right button or anything.”

“Hardison, just finish.”

“Her name is Betsy, by the way.”

Hardison flashed a picture of the 20-year-old. Eliot’s eyebrows shot up at her picture.

“She’s stunning,” he answered truthfully.

“She’s twenty, Eliot. Hands off,” Nate growled at him.  “Boyfriend?”

Hardison put up a photo of her so-called boyfriend.

“He’s not that attractive,” Parker answered.  “I don’t get it.”

“He must have other attributes,” Sophie hinted, making Eliot snort a bit.

Nate pinched the bridge of his nose, waiting for the others to pull themselves out of the gutter so that Hardison and he could finish the briefing.

“Are we all done?”

“Nah,” Eliot admitted.

“Let the man finish,” Parker chimed in with her fake voice.

“So, what’s the job? We retrieve her video?  Nate, that’s just a standard retrieval scenario that we could do in our sleep. Hardison erases everything about her, Parker goes in and steals the original and we’re done.”

“Sophie, you are partially correct, but in this instance, it may not be so clear cut.”

“She’s missing,” Eliot figured out.

“As of five days ago, Betsy was missing.  According to the note she wrote, she left on her own. Her father doesn’t believe it and wants us to find her.”

“She’s an adult,” Parker chimed in.

“She is. But not only is an adult, she’s diabetic and she also might be pregnant. Her father doesn’t know if she is alright or not.  She only took a few days of insulin as far as he knows.  He found a pregnancy test in her trash the day after she disappeared.  We are on the clock here, people. In forty-eight hours, she runs out of her last supply unless she was able to get more.  Plus, he thinks that there was a struggle in her apartment.”

“Betsy was working at the local coffee bar off West Ave.  Elms Bakery.  She didn’t report to work on the 5th. One of her coworkers stopped by her place. The door was open, and the place was trashed. Here’s the police report.  Daddy thinks that something is really wrong.”

“Eliot, go to her apartment. Take Parker with you while we figure out the best way in.”

“You just can’t catch a break, now can ya?” Eliot joked back at Nate’s use of words.

“Go,” Nate grumped back.

Leaning down on the counter, Nate closed his eyes while he thought of the best way to approach this.

“What are you thinking?  The Columbus slide?  Or the Crazy Hair Shuffle? I’m partial to the shuffle because I get to…”

“No, Soph. You are on video duty.”

He turned to look at her, very serious look on his face.

“You want me to?  Wouldn’t one of the boys be more appropriate?”

“If we want to get out of here today, no.”

“And with your sensibilities?”

Nate banged on the counter with the flat of his hand.  “I am not a prude. You know that.”

“Really?”

Hardison scurried off to the other side of the room and put his headphones on to not listen to his boss’s tirade. Or so Nate thought.

“You want Parker to watch this?”

“Well, no. The questions?  I’m not up for that. Oops. There we go again.  Hardison might learn a thing or two.  Eliot would be comparing performances.  And you? My dear, you have nothing to worry over.”

Nate couldn’t help that what Sophie was saying to him made his face very, very hot.

“Why does everyone think I’ve never watched porn before?”

“The issue is we think you’ve probably watched more than any of us,” Sophie shot back as she got up off her seat.

“Combined,” Parker added on comms.

Hardison laughed out loud until he saw the look on Nate’s face. Then he shut up really fast and started typing again.

“Leave the man alone,” Nate heard Eliot say as he put his earbud back in his ear.  “Maybe Sophie can learn a few moves.”

“Fuck off, Eliot,” both Sophie and Nate said simultaneously.

“Language,” Parker chastised the older members of the team.

Sophie grabbed the laptop from Nate forcefully and took it upstairs to be alone with her “video” watching.

“Hey, Soph. I just bought some more popcorn,” Parker joked.

 

The three videos that Sophie had been provided were around twenty minutes a piece.  She decided that it would be best to take out her earbud so that the others couldn’t hear what she was doing.  Better for all of them, especially her.

Betsy was stunningly beautiful, a young body, big blue eyes. She was definitely an ingenue type, probably girl next door.  Sophie vaguely remembered from long ago how girls like this fell into that business. She almost had the same thing happen a time or two.  Grifting was her first love though. Acting in this kind of film never had any appeal.

“We’re back,” Parker said sing-song as she came upstairs. 

Sophie had turned down the volume somewhat so that the guys couldn’t hear it downstairs since she left the door open to Nate’s room.

“So, she’s ordering a pizza?  Doesn’t that guy smell like pizza?  Hmm.  That might be a good thing.”

“Parker, it’s a trope that porn producers use. It doesn’t really matter what they do.”

“Yeah, it’s just sex. What’s the big deal?”

“Many of these girls are exploited, some underage.”

“Oh. Not good. Did she just…”

“She did,” Sophie answered as she turned her head the same way that Parker did.

“Oh my.”

“Oh my, indeed.”

“She’s very flexible. And has a perfect body. I guess I could see why guys would like that.”

“It’s all about the guy in these things.  The woman is just an object to be used.”

“And used. And used. That is just not possible.”

 

“That is not possible. Come on, man. Give me a break.”

“Just because some guys can go and go,” Eliot added as he and Hardison watched from his computer.

Nate had gone down to the bar to fortify himself, so Hardison and Eliot took advantage of it to watch one of the videos, just in case, Hardison pointed out. They might need to know things like logistics or what Betsy looked like without her clothes on.  They were breaking all sorts of protocols on this one.  If Nate knew, he’d kick both their butts.

“I don’t understand.  She’s not a piece of meat,” Eliot pointed out as he grabbed a handful of popcorn. “No way she’s getting off doing that.”

Hardison shook his head a few times back and forth. “I don’t think it’s about her getting anything other than a backache.”

Both Hardison and Eliot turned their heads to the side as they watched the people on the screen.

“She’s very flexible.”

“Very, very flexible.”

“Whoa.”

“Very whoa.”

“And this is why I told both of you not to watch our client,” Nate said at the front door.

Hardison slammed the laptop shut. “Just doing more research. We were not watching any videos.”

“Right,” Nate said as he set his tumbler down on the dining table.

“Nate, why don’t I go in and just retrieve her? Why are we gonna do this cloak and dagger stuff?”

“Because of this,” Nate said as he handed off his phone to Eliot.

“Oh. That’s a good reason. How much they want?”

“Five million. Alright, people. This is now a kidnapping.”

“What?” Eliot heard Parker say as he put his earbud back in. “I thought this was a simple retrieval?”

“That’s what I thought,” Eliot agreed.

“Plan A just turned into plan G.”

“You knew that was going to happen, didn’t you Nate?” Sophie added.

“Yep. Turn that video off,” Nate complained.

Eliot heard in the background the rest of what was happening in that scene, which seemed to be the finish.

“Oh,” Hardison said.

“Oh yep.”

 

“So, Sophie's going to go in as a producer. Eliot, you’re her muscle. We…”

“No,” Eliot said to Nate.  “It ain't gonna work.  Listen, a place like that sees a guy like me and they’re gonna think that Sophie does a certain kind of video. None of the stuff Betsy did was hardcore.”

“And how do you know this?” Hardison said as he looked over the info on the computer.

“The people she worked for.  You go in there with too much muscle, you’re going to scare away any people talking to you.”

“Take me,” Hardison volunteered.

“No, you have to stay here and monitor the situation. Plus, we need someone in reserve. Besides, I am going to be the one who does the retrieval.”

“Eliot’s right,” Nate concluded.  Nate hated it when Eliot was right.

“All you gotta do Nate is stand behind Sophie and look mean, but not too mean. Like disinterested, but ready to hit someone.”

“I know how to be you, Eliot.”

“Don’t be me. Well, maybe channel me a little bit.”

“I know what to do.”

“Get your best suit, dark tie, sunglasses. Slick your hair back,” Eliot yelled to Nate as he stomped up the stairs.

“Oh, where did Nate go?” Sophie asked as she came in the door.

“Changing,” Hardison said as he started to tap away at the keyboard again.

“Why? Where is he going?”

“With you,” Eliot smiled back at her.

“Oh, bloody hell. Do you know how hard it is for him to keep his trap shut?”

“Heard that,” Nate called from up above.

“Bastard. Did you tell him to be you?”

“Hey what am I supposed to steal? I can’t steal the girl because we don’t know where she is.”

“The video, Parker,” Nate announced as he came back down the stairs, partially dressed in a dark suit.

“Oh, the one I bought last spring in Paris. Good choice.”

The other three turned their heads toward Nate, all with their eyes wide with amusement.

“Dark shirt. Good choice if you have to knock heads. But don’t knock heads. Bad choice if that happens. Soph, make sure he doesn’t get into trouble.”

Nate angrily twisted his tie back and forth, tying it too short, then making the tail of it stick out too much.

“Just let me,” Sophie said as she took the thing from him.

“I know how to tie a tie.”

“No, you don’t,” Hardison said as he moved past.

“The red is a very bold choice. I approve.”

Sophie could smell Nate’s expensive aftershave, the kind that she bought for him, but he never used.  He picked this occasion to wear it finally?  She guessed it went with the look.  Her outfit was expensive too. They wanted to look very international, trying to find a new face for their more high-end films in Europe. It was their way in, trying to find out anything they could, especially where the safe was and where the originals of all the videos were kept.

“Mmm, you smell very nice,” Sophie whispered as she tied his tie correctly.

“Knew you’d approve.”

Gently, she tugged a stray curl into place.  Eliot decided to interrupt them, coming between them with an update.

“Kidnappers contacted the father. The drop is set for early tomorrow.  I’m going over there. Don’t mess this up. You’re eye candy, Nate. Act like it.”

“I thought I was security.”

“Eye candy security then,” Parker said as she practiced on a lock.

“Nate, you have to look the part and act the part.  Remember, be Eliot.”

“Remember, don’t be Eliot because if you get your ass kicked,” Eliot reminded the two as they walked out the door.  “I won’t be there to fix it.”

“I can throw a punch.”

“Or two. That’s about it.”

Nate yanked his earbud out for the time being.

“You’ll do fine.”

 

Famous last words. At first, Nate did wonderfully, standing behind Sophie, taking all the facilities in with his dark sunglasses firmly in place.  Sophie was on fire, getting them to believe what she had to say, hook line and sinker. So, when did it go badly for them? What made it turn from plan G into plan X?  Nate didn’t know at the moment.  All he knew was his head hurt from being punched. He did get off a few good ones as did Sophie, even in her thousand-dollar dress and probably even more expensive shoes.  Which she could not run in to save her life.  She ended up throwing one of them at whoever was chasing them. Now she was down to one shoe.

“How did they figure it out?” Nate whispered, tugging on his tie to loosen it.

“Shh,” Sophie warned him.

The room they were stuck in was small and very hot. Next door to them they were filming. The two goons who were chasing them had no idea which building they managed to escape. No one was shutting down production just to find two people.  Videos meant money coming in. There was no way that either one of them was getting over the barbed wire fence with what they had on.  They’d have to wait for Eliot to come retrieve them. Except he couldn’t. He was having issues of his own.

“Any day now,” Nate had said as they were trying to find a place to hide.

“Got trouble. Seems that Betsy’s so-called boyfriend just might be her so-called kidnapper.  Eliot’s following him now.  He has to be stealthy.”

“Parker?”

“Out of position. I’m on the other side of the lot getting the originals of those videos.”

“Don’t ask me. I’m supposed to be monitoring everyone. Remember?” Hardison sarcastically added.

“Dammit,” Sophie sighed. “Now what?”

“Take your clothes off,” Nate demanded.

“What?”

“You can pretend to be a performer. You’d have a robe on.”

“You?”

“Right. Not porn material. I’ll just wait here.”

“Bullshit,” Nate could hear on the comms. “Take one for the team, Nate.”

“Nate, just because you’re not Hardison, doesn’t mean you can’t fit in.”

“Oh, you think I’m porn material?” Hardison asked Sophie.

“Musclebound boys. Works every time.”

“I’m not a boy,” Hardison said, trying to deepen his voice.

“Soph, I’m a middle-aged white guy.”

“Middle-aged, pasty white guy,” Parker added, sounding like she was out of breath.

“Hey, we can do more arm days, Nate.”

“More leg days too. Have you seen his legs?”

“Hardison, you should talk.”

“Concentrate.”

Nate almost yelled at them but knew if he did, they might be found. Besides, from the sounds in the next room, it was certainly making it hotter in the closet in which they had jumped to save themselves.

“Nate, are you about to hyperventilate?”

“Possibly?”

He could see her face because of the bit of light that was seeping through the side of the door.

“Take off your coat,” she commanded.

He silently slipped off his coat. He was stupid enough to wear the wool one. 

“And the pants.”

“Soph?”

“Do it,” she ordered him.

“Alright,” he whispered back.

“Tie?”

He twisted it off and handed it to her as she stuck her hand out. While he had been undressing, she had slipped out of her dress, down to her underwear.  Now he was hyperventilating.

“Now I’m going to tie your hands.”

“What?”

“Trust me, dear.”

“Now is not the time to, you know.”

Sophie slapped him lightly on the arm. “Focus.”

As quickly as she could, she unbuttoned most of the buttons on his dark shirt. The one day he had chosen to not wear an undershirt. Grabbing him, she messed his hair up but not hers.  He had no idea where she was going with this.

He could feel something tickling his chest but couldn’t see exactly what she was planning on doing.  The sting a few seconds later had him jumping and yelping.

“Shh,” she reminded him.

“What are you doing?”

“Roleplaying. Just follow my lead.”

Nate could feel the welts start to form wherever she hit him with the object in her hand.

“It hurts,” he growled back at her.

“It’s supposed to hurt. Some people even like it hurting. Just hold still.”

A few more times down his chest and a few strikes across his thighs, she completed the look.  Then she took his mouth and totally kissed him senseless, biting down for the finale.

“Did you just draw blood?”

“Probably.”

Shaking her hair out, Sophie handed all their clothes to Nate, opened the door and marched out like she owned the place. Tugging on the tie that was now wrapped around his wrists, she led the way, like he was her prisoner.

“Keep your eyes on the floor,” she said as they turned the corner.

“S and M is down that side,” someone said as she walked away.

They thought that she was… and he was… oh.

She had somehow found both her heels in the melee. He watched her backside as she pulled on him to follow her, stumbling a bit as he saw she had some kind of riding crop in her hand which she occasionally swung his way. Most of the time she missed. Most of the time.  She did not aim for the face, thank goodness.  His legs and thighs though were now red.

“Where are you two going?”

“Got lost.”

Nate took the chance and glanced up at Sophie.  She was dangerous looking with that crop in her hands, twitching it back and forth like she would hit anyone with it who got in her way.

“Building’s to your right.”

Sophie yanked his head back and dove in for a kiss before walking off with him behind her. Now in addition to his thighs burning, his head felt like she yanked out half his hair. He couldn’t afford to lose that half.

“Oh my god,” Nate could hear Parker in his ear. “What did he do now?”

“Shh. We’re working.”

The other two snorted at Sophie’s wording.

“I hope you have a recording of this feed.”

“Hardison,” Nate whispered.  “If you…”

Sophie pulled on his tie again to make him be quiet.  “We’re almost out. The gate is right in front of us.”

“Right next to the S and M building.”

“Dammit, Hardison.”

“It’s true.”

The command with which Sophie walked out of there was the stuff of legends.  Even the security guard didn’t say a word about why a woman scantily dressed would walk out into the parking lot with a guy with only a shirt and boxers on with a tie around his wrists. Taking Nate’s suit jacket, she put it on as she got to their car, pushing him into the passenger seat.

“I think we need to leave. Quickly.”

Nate saw in the distance three very big guys, one of them who was sporting a black eye that Nate had conveniently thrown a good punch causing it. His hand still stung from that.

Sophie screeched the tires as she slammed it around the corner getting the two of them out of there intact.

“See, wasn’t that fun?”

“We were blown the minute we stepped inside. Why?”

Nate yanked the tie off his wrists and quickly buttoned up his shirt.

“Well, I mean, I didn’t think anyone would know me.  And there was this producer. I had no idea.”

Nate rolled his eyes at her, gesturing her to keep driving to make sure they got out of there before the three guys were able to follow.

“You were in a porn movie?” Parker asked excitedly. “I should have grabbed that one too.”

“It wasn’t porn exactly.  It was just, well, …”

“Porn,” all the guys said in unison.

“It was not,” she angrily shot back.

“Wanna bet?”

“You know, we could have waited while y’all worked some things out on that S and M set.”

“I still have the riding crop,” Sophie replied as she sped down the road, twirling the thing in one of her hands.

“Y’all nasty.  Y’all agree?”

No answer from Eliot or Parker.

Two days later, Eliot had managed to retrieve Betsy and delivered her to her father intact.  She had indeed picked up more insulin and luckily was not pregnant. The boyfriend was the one who kidnapped her, holding her for ransom. 

“It’s always the boyfriend,” Parker mentioned as they all piled back into Nate’s apartment after a long day.

“Not always. Sometimes.  In kidnappings, you never know. Family members are often…”

Nate gingerly sat down on one of the stools.

“Got some ointment for that.”

Nate glared back at Eliot.

“Maybe a soak in your tub.”

“Hey, where’s the riding crop?” Parker asked.  “Yesterday Nate could actually sit down. Didn’t she hit you on your thighs?”

“No idea where it is,” Sophie told the thief.

“I am taking my computer and going home, people.”

“What?  Don’t like toys?” Eliot chided the younger man.

“Nah. Don’t like hearing this shit is all.  It was enough to watch that video,” Hardison said but slowed down at that last statement.

“What video?”

“No. The video the client made,” Hardison backtracked.

“Good job acting, Soph,” Parker said as she bounded out the door, slamming it after her.

Hardison had managed to slip out right before Parker took her leave.  He had no idea where Eliot had ended up.

“They saw the video.”

“They saw the video. Parker was right.  Not a bad acting job.”

“Without clothes.”

“Without clothes.”

“How are you?”

“Next time, don’t hit me so hard.”

“It slipped.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I’m not the one who’s kinky.”

“We’ll see…”

They heard the door slam again.

“Eliot.”

“Eliot, dammit.”

Nate got up from his position slowly, stalking Sophie to the stairs.

“Where is that riding crop?”

“No idea,” she managed to squeak out before turning to run up the stairs. “Don’t you dare?”

“What? Me?”

“You’re the one that likes to be punished.”

The only other sound heard downstairs was the slam of the bedroom door and a screech and laugh.

“Don’t you dare.”


End file.
